Poor James was a bit 'special' and it wasn't unusual for him to shit himself at any given opportunity. One day, I found myself in the unfortunate position of having to sit next to him on the bus on the way home.
That day, James smelled righteous, so I asked him, burrying my face in my shirt, "James. Why did you shit in your pants?"
He looked at me straight in the eye and declared, in a "well actually, as a matter of fact" kind of way, "It will be HARD soon."
That day, James smelled righteous, so I asked him, burrying my face in my shirt, "James. Why did you shit in your pants?"
He looked at me straight in the eye and declared, in a "well actually, as a matter of fact" kind of way, "It will be HARD soon."
Classic thicko story. Child bunks off school, answers the phone at his house, and when asked "Is that you, Ian?", the hypothetical Ian replies "No, it's my uncle".
Alan was a large child, and as with all large children, they get accused of eating many things. So when Alan would ask you if he could borrow a pencil, you would naturally reply "it's not lunchtime, Alan". This was just subtle enough so that Alan never realised.
Alan: Has anyone got a spare textbook?
The Class: It's not lunchtime, Alan.
Alan: Has anyone got a spare textbook?
The Class: It's not lunchtime, Alan.
A reassuring lie for ugly people. It doesn't work quite as well for fat people, however, and can trigger a guessing game as to what it is exactly that's inside the massive bastards.
run conchita : like 'it', but you punch the person in the kidneys and shout "run, conchita!" pineapple salesman : the person who was 'it' was the pineapple salesman, and had to be chased and severely beaten. the bill, the bill, get the bastards : split into two teams, each with a walkie talkie. The team who gets the pineapple salesman lets the other team listen to the beating on their walkie-talkie.
What's got two thumbs, puts itching powder down someone's back in the tuck shop queue, then agrees to sell his surplus itching powder to the victim so he'd be better prepared, in case of future itching powder attacks?
This guy. (I'm gesturing with my two thumbs at myself)
This guy. (I'm gesturing with my two thumbs at myself)