Flashers and Proud. An organisation set up by a group of 13 year old girls with the sole purpose of lifting up their skirts or tops at random victims. If anyone complains, they are presented with a FAP membership card and told to 'deal with it'.

A touching ode to an incompetent Oriental farmer:
Ching Chong Chinaman went to milk a cow
Ching Chong Chinaman didn't know how
Ching Chong Chinaman pulled the wrong tit
Ching Chong Chinaman covered in shit.
In retrospect it's hard to imagine what 'the wrong tit' could possibly mean, although I suppose it could be the cow's tail.

I don't know what kind of crazy smack you guys are on but pinfinger is :
  1. Getting a candle from art class.
  2. Melting the wax onto the tips of your fingers.
  3. Before the wax hardens, insert a drawing pin.
  4. Scratch the face of the fucking dick who grassed you up for spitting off the top of the English block.

Make sure they know it's a pinfinger, otherwise you might be confused with a girlie-fighting fingernailed ladyboy.
An addition to this basic pinfinger is to write AIDS over a bottle of Quink, and dip the pin into it before attacking. Make sure your victim sees this.

The school caretaker, however, is always a paedophile. Remember that. Remember it and remember how a shy smile can get you a free Mars bar.

Legendary mime performed by me in maths that got me kept behind for one of those "now I know you're only doing this to hide how upset you are" chats from the Mrs. Pearcey. The mime essentially involved playing dead, but as it was the week after the tragedy, I was generally believed to be as topical and more satirically daring than "Have I Got News For You". By me. Everyone else thought I had gone too far, and those really annoying sanctimonious girls got me told off with great glee. Whores.

The end of a black man's cock.

Two things - other amusing "all-rhyming names" are Big Horny Beaver (Sigourney Weaver) and Prick Fuck Balls (Mick Hucknall, from Pimply Head). Also, this is presumably the new 5th Year, and not the one that meant you were 15, when I were a lad

I'm sure the word 'testicles' is in the Bible some where. Can anyone back me up here? Maybe I just read 'Genesis' and thought it said 'genitals'.
Thanks for your Bible query, Jamie. A quick search of bible.com has just thrown up the fact that the word testicles does not appear in the Bible. Other slightly sexy books of the Bible you might be getting confused are Sexodus, Bumbers, Gaymos, or Bonah - Log)

A joyless rubber hoop from really early PE classes, where they didn't think you capable of using something so wildly complex as a ball. Accompanied by little bean bags that can in no way be used into conjunction with the quoits. Especially in Roman Catholic schools, where balls are considered too much fun, and sexy.

When I were a lass, "Bumming" also meant only to hit someone with the arse, not the greasy anal violation we take it to mean now. For example, "I bummed my sister so hard in the face that she fell over and broke a tooth." Brilliant!