Replacement for "cheers". See also "fuck you very much".

On similar lines (but not as rude, so resulting in less kudos points), is "Hairy Muff" or "Fairy Muff" said in place of "Fair Enough". - Matt Fasham
Excrement point Matt, truly excrement. - The Boy Tucker

A game played by myself and Greg Sullivan at primary school. The premise of the game was that we ran a hotel built entirely out of poo. (Imaginary) guests would come and stay, and we would try and ensure that they never realised the true nature of the hotel. It wasn't just the walls etc that were excretal in origin, however - hilariously, the menu was mainly made up of such delicacies as "burnt sausages" and "lemonade". We also offered a fine range of after dinner cigars.
In retrospect, it's hard to escape the suspicion that the entire game was a a flimsy bolt-on to a rather poor pun - but it still kept us out of trouble. Readers may also be interested to know that as a mature(-ish) adult I harbour no cloacal tendancies and that this was obviously "just a phase".

An obscure term for 'smelly cock', derived via the popular 'cheesy bellender'.

An ever-evolving gentlemen's society which began by setting up a club where three of us would all cram ourselves into a big drawer under a friend's bed and pull it closed.
When the (clearly) limited point of such a club was realised, it evolved its practices thusly:
Reading comics in the drawer.
Reading comics next to the drawer.
Putting George in the drawer.
Putting George in the drawer until he begged for release.
Hitting George.
Stealing from George.
The society was forced to disband with the arrival of homemade ninja weapons and a trip to hospital for George and his newly grounded friends.

Fat teachers should always choose to dress in floral ponchos made from curtains, and - and this is perfect - drive a Mini. Mine certainly did.
So when the beast shoves its ham-joints through the tiny doors, and wedges itself under the Polo Mint steering wheel, at least it has the excuse that it is a Mini.
(Did your fat teacher use any comedies of scale? Perhaps it would drink hot lard from a thimble, before hurling Rubik's Barrels down a network of girders. Was it a knowing joke, or simple, fat-headed obliviousness? Who knows what goes on, in... The Minds of the Fat.)

A nickname I earned thanks to my sterling efforts to stay one step ahead of the IT department, and ensure that all pupils got to look at boobs on the newly installed computers.

My budding porn empire came crashing down when I was confronted by a PE teacher holding a print-out of a picture of a lady pleasuring herself with a cucumber, and the question "is this your mum?"

Should you have a penguin wrapper with the same colour as someone else at your table, correct etiquette dictates that you hold the still wrapped biscuits aloft, with an air of impenetrable brotherhood and superiority.
But watch out - yellow wrappers are gay, and the synergy of two gay wrappers meant that combining their energies would make you triple gay. And two people being triple gay is six times gay, from just two gay wrappers. That sort of spontaneous gay creation could cause a sex-rift, and summon a lesbian made from electricity.

A dangerous game to play if you are the teacher, and you suffer from B.O. The chances are that the children will return the phrase "Mr Gardiner smells of piss", and you will not know who to blame. You cannot punish anyone, so you will appear powerless. The children will see this, and be upon you in seconds, and you shall be a skeleton left to bake in the sun before home time.

I actually saw this film once, and the thing is, the strange white haired old guy in the film does actually try to insert himself into a chicken, but it doesn't work and he goes and shags a cow instead.
The bit with the eels was the most informative.