Ezekiel 23:20 talks about a woman who enjoys the company of lovers who are hung like donkeys and who can ejaculate like horses.

Editor’s note. We were a bit sceptical about this claim, but it turns out that it bloody well does. And how about 23:21? "So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled”. Phew! It seems that the whole of Ezekiel 23 is pretty damn filthy. It starts off like the premise of a Tania Russof movie and ends up in a Tarantinoesque bloodbath. The smutty bible-writing perverts.

A bomber jacket owned by Anthony Harrison had been stolen from the changing rooms during PE and was found at the back of the field slashed up and pissed on.
As if this wasn't funny enough in itself, he came in the next day wearing the SAME JACKET, that his mum had mended and washed.
This earnt him the nickname 'Trampony'.

In the event that you had a clueless teacher and a strict programming deadline to meet, consider this program;
10 REM This is our program
20 REM The rest of it is hidden
30 REM unless you have the password
40 REM -----------
We convinced our teacher that we had infact written things into the program which stopped "LIST" working.
After a week of trying to get around this, our teacher had completely forgotten about the original program, and came back to us saying that he'd given us top marks for amazingness.

Legend has it that Sean Gorman was run over by a milk float and tragically lost a testicle. I've always found this confusing as the rest of Sean's body remained intact. Was he sitting on the kerb with one bollock resting on the road? Sean was always very coy about the subject...and suspiciously unsympathetic to others who suffered groinal mishaps, like his best friend Michael.

One day Michael hopped a fence to retrieve a stray football which had been kicked into a field beside the school pitches. Unfortunately for Michael said fence was of the barbed wire variety and Michael's scrotum became entangled mid-hop. Did Sean have vivid flashbacks to his milk float ordeal and run for help ensuring his best buddy didn't suffer the same fate as him? Did he fuck. He made like the rest of us and started throwing stones at Michael while singing "Always look on the Bright Side of Life".

A film studied during our GCSE English Literature course, which contained an inexplicable 10 second sex scene. None of us knew how it added to the plot or imagery of the film, although we were all eager to reference it in our essays. "No one was very good at maths because sir kept having sex scenes," for example.

James Schofield had a particularly vivid imagination when it came to the sixth form girls and their exploits with him. And so he was redubbed "Matty" after Matthew Pearson in Grange Hill. The implication being that not only did he tell lots of lies, but he was getting bummed by his dad.

Another song may explain what the biscuit tin was for;
Oli oli oli,
Put your tits in the trolley,
and your balls in the biscuit tin
And i can't remember the rest.

I was told that monks in France used to suck mercury off the floor using their anuses, hold it in their rectums for short amounts of time, then let it back out again. Apparently doing this aided relaxation and provided relief from stress. I did believe his story until I realised that sucking things up with your arse isn't really feasible.

A code-word signifying that it is time for the boys in the back row to take off their blazers, drape them across their laps and masturbate.
There appeared to be no aspect of competition, and I'm not sure whether they realised that they weren't fooling anyone.

I enjoyed "your mum" insults for a goodly while, and even made a quiz in which all the answers were "your mum" related. For instance, What furry animal communicates with a tiny dance? Your mum. What Is The Fastest Land Mammal? Your mum on a bike. How did Marc Bolan die? Your mum farted into his mouth. How much is a guinea and a florin worth? Two gob jobs off your mum. Et, cet, era.