It's not lunchtime, Alan!
Alan was a large child, and as with all large children, they get accused of eating many things. So when Alan would ask you if he could borrow a pencil, you would naturally reply "it's not lunchtime, Alan". This was just subtle enough so that Alan never realised.
Alan: Has anyone got a spare textbook?
The Class: It's not lunchtime, Alan.
Alan: Has anyone got a spare textbook?
The Class: It's not lunchtime, Alan.
written by jo*n *ar*ons, approved by Log