Pickpockets
During my school days, I learned that the best way to stop pickpockets is to put a dog shit in a sandwich bag, and put it your coat pocket. You can guarantee they'll never do it again.

Aye, right. So you walked around with a dog shit in your coat pocket all day, just in case someone tried to steal your handkerchief? You've emerged as the clear winner here. You daft sod. - Matt
written by Pe*er*Ly*ch, approved by Matt