Satire through origami
Has anyone ever come up with a satisfactory name for that paper device thing kids (girls mainly) made to do fortune telling? You'd fold the paper in a certain way to make a pyramid thing you could stick your fingers in. Then you'd approach your testee and ask them, say, their favourite colour. "B-L-U-E" you'd spell out and do something complicated with the paper. The paper thingum would now look a little like vulcan handfanny (q.v). The testee would pick a number from one of the flaps, lift the flap, and it would say something like "You love Luke Goss" or "Your tits smell."
If you have any idea what the fuck I'm blathering about, please write in. You are probably a girl and probably owned a mood ring when you were young.
written by Su*an T*bac*o, approved by Log

Although the creature was never officially given a name, he could also be used as an Emu-esque attack pet. Drawing two eyes on him, and a dinky little tongue on the inside, he'd fondly nuzzle on the neck of your victim. Until a foul mood unexpectedly befell him, when his face would horrifically open sideways, seperating his eyes and revealing a set of vicious teeth. Then you would punch your victim with a paper fist, shouting "No, Duncan, NO! Leave him alone!"
written by Jo* Bl*th, approved by Susan

Here is a guide for anyone wanting to tell their friends they fancy Luke Goss, or attack someone.

  1. Take a sheet of A4. Take the bottom left corner and fold it at 45 degrees so that the bottom side runs exactly along the right side. Cut off the redundant strip off paper that runs along the top. Fold across the other way to create an "X" in folds. The "X" should intersect at the centre of the square.
  2. Fold all four corners "A" in so that the points meet at the centre.
  3. Turn the sheet over. Fold all four corners "B" into the centre, as before.
  4. Fold over line C then unfold line C again (this will make the final stage easier), then fold over line D.
  5. You should now notice four slots, or flaps in one side. Put a thumb and finger of each hand into these slots, or flaps. Pinch together, and with some jiggling the creature should fall into shape.
  6. Decorate as appropriate.
written by Jo* B*yth, approved by Phil

ha ha, Log's a GIRL!
written by Su*an To*acc*, approved by Phil

Oh, but those things DID have a name. They were called 'cootie-catchers'.
And yes, I owned a mood ring, but it was a GIFT.
written by an*ny*ous u*er, approved by Phil

Hold on, hold on, Susan. What the fuck is a 'Mood Ring'. I went to an all boys school and have never heard of such a thing. If it magically displays the mood of the wearer, I shall buy one for my wife.
written by An*y Man*h, approved by Susan

Sorry Andy. Mood rings are mood rings in the same way that X-ray specs are X-ray specs i.e not at all. Mood rings, yes, claimed to change with your mood, but would change quick enough by being clamped in a sweaty child hand or licked. Rubbish.
If you've seen the film "My Girl" with Maculay Culkin, you'll know what a mood ring is. You'll also be a girl. Or a gay. Either way you'll already know what a mood ring is, and your wife should really start asking questions about those copies of Mens Health.
written by Su*an T*bacco, approved by Susan

Nnnneurrrgh. I like mood rings.
Here's an online one that will tell you you're grumpy every eighth time you click in it.
written by Ni*k *unt, approved by Log

Mood rings magically display the temperature of the wearer I'm afraid. It's always blue. Thrillingly, a good dose of Lynx will turn them temporarily black, and will strip the fake silver from the ring in the next couple of days.

written by Da*y *, approved by Log