Fucking Egg
Robert Watson's eloquent yet practical description of hateful Maths teacher Mr. Pickrell's balding head:

"I give up, it's like talking to a wall."

"Yeah, and this is like talking to a fucking egg."

The sneering bastard was so taken aback he couldn't think of anything to do but turn around and carry on with the lesson, whereupon we resumed the quiet, character-building ritual of taking turns spitting into his briefcase.
written by Le*gh L*, approved by Phil