what's the time?
Kid A : What's the time? Kid B : Tampax nine! Kid A : Durex-spect me to believe that? Kid B : I johnny well do! Kid A : Well wanks a lot. Kid B : Tit's alright, tit's a pleasure! A general clamour to start this exchange happened at around ten past nine every morning.
written by Jo*atha* H*lling*wor*h, approved by Log

Other answers to "What's the time?" include, "Hair past freckle", "Hair past skin", or, of course, the hilarious "Time Big Ben had babies."
written by Ni*k *unt, approved by Log

as i never had a watch, saying "it's just gone so's me watch" always kept me top of my comedic game, assuring me popularity and sex from any bird I wanted.
written by Ma*k M*cca, approved by Susan