Aged about seven or eight, I was told by an older friend during a sleepover that, at midnight, a one-eyed wolf appears and that if you see it, someone in your family will die. You must therefore shut your eyes tight should you happen to be awake at midnight. I naturally treated this bollocks with the contempt it deserved, and proceeded to tell my classmates about it the following day in derisive tones. Unfortunately some of them did not share my cynicism, and my tale inspired terror and weeping among the more sensitive and suggestible children. I received a bollocking.

There was a similar result when I jokingly told people my Koosh ball was made of spiders' legs.