Mister Ferguson the Music teacher was known as Teapot, for occasionally standing with one hand on hip with the other pointing at pupils with the wrist in a rather relaxed repose.

He was made painfully aware of this, usually by the Schemers from the bottom scheme of the local town, who would sprint past the open windows of his classroom during one of his excellent lessons on syncopation, screaming ‘TEAAAAAAPOOOOOOTT” at the top of their voices, whilst he pretended not to hear them.

Everyone assumed he was gay, because he wasn’t married, lived with his mum - but most tellingly - enjoyed listening to Shostakovic. The old poofter.