My Mum went away on a course for work for a whole week when i was in the year 9, just when i was sitting my S.A.T's and could have used some brain food. My Dad was placed in charge, for the first time in his life, of my brother and me.
You truly have no idea how loud an entire dining hall full of students can be when, on discovering that you have sugar and margarine sandwiches for lunch, start to chant gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gyppo in unison.
I was a marked man for about a month, i was the lowest of the low, even the poor kids picked on me. Crys of 'Where's your caravan?' haunted me everywhere i went.... The Cher song 'Gypsy's, Tramps and Thieves' underwent a one school revival...
My brother, who was two years older than me and had a saturday job, was spared this torment. He used his wages to buy hot school dinners. The shit.