Aftershave up the Arse
A trick played on gullible friends and younger siblings. At a party or similar gathering, produce a bottle of Haiya Karate or Old Spice that your Gran always gives you for Christmas once you’ve started shaving bumfluff off your face. Pull the waistband of your trousers out at the back, and pretend to pour the aftershave up your nipsy, while making violent orgasm sounds and telling the crowd how fantastic it feels. The sexually inexperienced audience members will want to experience this heady stimulant, so allow yourself to be persuaded to lend the bottle to the victim. Tell them to lie on the ground and pour it up their arse. About two seconds later they will be running around screaming with their arse on fire and the sounds of evil cackling ringing in their ears.
This is by far the best way of disposing of unwanted aftershave gifts, even better than drinking it. It makes your breath stink, by the way, but funnily enough it makes your farts smell incredibly masculine.
written by Da*ren *amb, approved by Matt