'Jimmy is Satan' was written in 8-foot-high letters on the wall of the sports hall wall one day. They resisted all attempts to remove them. On a clear day they glowed.

They were rumoured to be the work of school nutcase Archie, who had previously achieved fame by burning a huge 'shit happens' face on the cricket square with weedkiller.

'Jimmy' may have been a reference to the deputy head, an indestructible 80-year-old Welshman who climbed mountains and got stung by a scorpion with no ill-effects.

Prophetic warning or drug-addled nightmare? The police weren't sympathetic in the end. Archie is now in prison.

This would be the same Mr James that bawled me out when I cheered on the fire engines when they turned up one day. The graffiti wasn't there before I was kicked out, but I have seen it. The person that did it is right as well. Jimmy was indeed a cunt.