hymns, replacing words in
While shepherds washed their cocks by night,
While watching BBC
The angel of the Lord came down
And switched to ITV
While watching BBC
The angel of the Lord came down
And switched to ITV
written by Ch*is S*owd*n, approved by Log
Our Father, Who Aren't in Heaven,
Hallo What's Your Name?
Gladly the cross I bear... becomes Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear...
(This last one also appears in The Perishers cartoon strip, which I think pensioners read.)
Hallo What's Your Name?
Gladly the cross I bear... becomes Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear...
(This last one also appears in The Perishers cartoon strip, which I think pensioners read.)
written by Ia* Ma*col*, approved by Log
Oh Come Let Us Adore Him = Oh Come Let Us Ignore Him
Christ The Lord becomes Christ, I'm Bored
Gracious Spirit, Holy Ghost becomes Gracious Spirit, Beans on Toast
Peace is flowing like a river...flowing out of you and me... becomes... well, I think you can guess this one...
We are climbing Jesus' ladder becomes = for ladder, read penis
I close my eyes, drew back the curtains becomes = why not draw back your foreskin?
All dicks bright and beautiful, all creatures grunt and smell
Jesus Christ the Apple Tree, said with a different emphasis, becomes a startled exclamation of surprise.
Service to the loving, honour to the dead becomes bollocks to the Head
Our Father, Who Art In Heaven, Harold By Thy Name
'Blessed are those that come in the House of the Lord', swap House for Mouth
God rest you jerry mental men
do re mi so fa la ti do = dirty asshole farty old soul
Cross over the road my friend,
ask the lord his cock to bend,
hi-is penis knows no end,
cross over the road.
and for the catholics...
benedicta tu becomes benny's dick tattoo
clarior usta rogo becomes clarior usta bollocks (?) and you have to say usta as though you are climaxing. Naturally.
Christ The Lord becomes Christ, I'm Bored
Gracious Spirit, Holy Ghost becomes Gracious Spirit, Beans on Toast
Peace is flowing like a river...flowing out of you and me... becomes... well, I think you can guess this one...
We are climbing Jesus' ladder becomes = for ladder, read penis
I close my eyes, drew back the curtains becomes = why not draw back your foreskin?
All dicks bright and beautiful, all creatures grunt and smell
Jesus Christ the Apple Tree, said with a different emphasis, becomes a startled exclamation of surprise.
Service to the loving, honour to the dead becomes bollocks to the Head
Our Father, Who Art In Heaven, Harold By Thy Name
'Blessed are those that come in the House of the Lord', swap House for Mouth
God rest you jerry mental men
do re mi so fa la ti do = dirty asshole farty old soul
Cross over the road my friend,
ask the lord his cock to bend,
hi-is penis knows no end,
cross over the road.
and for the catholics...
benedicta tu becomes benny's dick tattoo
clarior usta rogo becomes clarior usta bollocks (?) and you have to say usta as though you are climaxing. Naturally.
written by Ja*es*McCo*ma*k, Ch*is*op*er Hu*ley, Mi*hele*, Jo* S., Ga*th , Ma*t *ing, Al*x C*rt*r, Be* Aus*wick, Jo* B*yth, approved by Log
In 1992, just outside our school, our friend Nigel got hit by a car and had his leg broken. Consequently "Cross over the road my friend" soon became the rather forced "Cross over the road Nigel" before muttering something vague about him being stupid and run over in the next line.
Im pretty sure they still sing it like that today.
Im pretty sure they still sing it like that today.
written by Be* B*ker, approved by Log
At junior school, we once had to sing a setting of Martin Luther King's speech on TV, which started "I have a dream, that nothing can conquer". Needless to say, in the playground many things were substituted for the word 'dream'... except that if a less popular kid tried to sing something like "I have a cock, that nothing can conquer", another kid would just say "oh yeah?" and kick the shit out of his crotch.
written by Th* Bitt*rn, approved by Susan
We thought that replacing Onward Christian soldiers with "Onward fascist bastards" was really right on, and would bring down capitalism and organised religion.
It just made us sound like Rik from the Young Ones.
It just made us sound like Rik from the Young Ones.
written by Po*ky Po*k, approved by Rosy