There was a series of Wally games on the Commodore 64. On the back of one of the games, they actually had the gall to record a novelty song called "Everyone's a Wally". Anyone remember the words?

Everyone's a wally, A ninny or a nana or a nerd. Everyone's a wally..... Everyone's a wally, that's the word. Don't blame me. I had a lonely childhood. And at least I only remember the chorus. There must be somebody sadder. Let me know.... it would mean so much.

The novelty record was sung by Mike Berry, who played Mr Spooner on "Are You Being Served?". One can only assume that this was not a career high for him.

I recall one verse;
First Wally called in Dick the Prick,
Who turned up with his hod.
And he was up to all the tricks,
The good-for-nothing sod.
So he went to work with superglue,
Instead of using water.
"Here Dick", said Wally,
"Don't you think you oughta use,
The proper tools to do the job?"
But Richard as his ace,
Had trampled on the tube,
And stuck a shovel to his face.
I also vaguely recall the punk character from the game sounding like Vivian off of the Young Ones on the song. Why do I recall this? Because I once memorised the whole song and sang it to my mum to impress her. It was around this time that I first became aware that my mother hated me, and it wasn't long before she was openly blaming me for the loss of her figure.

I can't help thinking that the first chap's name should read Dick the Brick, what with his hod and all. -Ponky

Wally was a builder and he had to build a house.
He knew the basics of the trade but hadn't got the nous
To build the walls, dig the drains, or put in lights and doors,
To plumb the bath, slate the roof, or lay down any floors.
Now Wally was a grafter and he didn't like to shirk...
That's why he called his mates in to help him do the work.



First he called in Dick the brick, who turned up with his hod.
He thought he knew all the tricks, the good for nothing...so-and-so...
Like superglue between the bricks instead of using mortar.
"'ere," said Wally, "don't you think you oughta
Use proper stuff to do the job?" But Richard, in his haze,
Had trodden on the tube and stuck a shovel to his face!



Now Tom was a plumber's mate, the spiky little punk.
You've never seen a geezer dressed in so much blinkin' junk.
He started in the bathroom, and after half an hour,
The basin was off the wall, and he'd pulverised the shower.
"Of course it's working well!" he said, swinging on the chain.
The cistern came off the wall, and flushed him down the drain!



A hippy known as Harry, Harry Krishna to his mates,
Turned up to do the wiring - what a two-and-eight!
He opened up the fuse box, it didn't half go dark,
So he fiddled with the terminal, and it all began to spark.
"Cosmic, man..." he said, his fingers in the socket,
He threw the switch, began to twitch, and took off like a rocket!



(The shame, the shame...)

Now Wally was a builder, and he had to build a house,
He knew the basics of the trade but hadn't got the nouse
to build the walls, dig the drains, or put in lights and doors,
To plumb the bath, slate the roof, or lay down any floors.
Now Wally was a grafter, and he didn't like to shirk -
That's why he called his mates in to help him do the work.



First he called in Dick the prick, who turned up with his hod.
He thought he knew all the tricks, the good for nothing so-and-so
Like superglue between the bricks instead of using mortar.
"'Ere," said Wally, "don't you think you oughta
Use proper stuff to do the job?" But Dick got all his mates;
They travelled on the Tube and stuck a shovel in his face.
[fx: Ow!]



Now Tom was a plumber's mate, the spiky little punk.
You've never seen a geezer dressed in so much blinkin' junk.
He started in the bathroom, and after half an hour,
The basin was off the wall, and he'd pulverised the shower.
"Of course it's working well!" he said, swinging on the chain
-
The cistern came off the wall, and flushed him down the drain!
[fx: Aaaaaaaaaaaaagggh! ]



Now Harry was a hippy (Harry Christmas to his mates);
Turned up to do the wiring, what a two-and-eight! [2]
He opened up the fuse box, it didn't half go dark,
So he fiddled with the terminal, and it all began to spark.
"Cosmic, mahn!"[1] he said, his fingers in the socket,
He threw the switch, began to twitch, and took off like a rocket!

http://www.gamesover.com/walkthroughs/everyones_a_wally.txt