Back in junior school we were forced to undergo the abject humiliation of cross-stitch. Designed specially for retards, this involved threading shoe-lace sized string through some material which had specially made holes in it, using huge, but annoyingly blunt, knitting needles. Whilst some fun was derived from the fact our intended space shuttle designs turned out like - in all honesty - a big cock, the best was yet to come. The class retard, Lisa Smith, who had sat quietly, intently embroidering, for the best part of an hour finished with a flourish and, standing up to show off her creation, realised, along with the rest of the class, that she had managed to sew the entire thing through her dress. The only thing better than the downright fuckwittedness of this act was the realisation of exactly how much effort it must have taken to force the blunt needle through her dress. One particular bonus was that whilst the teacher spent an hour unpicking every stitch it gave a great opportunity for the more inventive to try putting the needles through each others legs.