A plea : did the hard lads in anyone else's school have wanking races in lessons or was it just our school? It mainly happened in maths. Three or four lads would sit at the back with their knobs out and masturbate under the desk - to completion. Sometimes the pikey girls would join them with shatterproof rulers for measuring purposes. This also occurred on the back seat of our school coach. Any chance they got, really. Was this really a unique phenomenon?

The wanking race also occured in our scout troop. I politely declined due to the rather unsettling homosexual undertones, possibly something to do with one of the leaders joining in.
(May or may not be true, but oh! - the delivery! - Log)

We had a similar race in R.E with our teacher who wore leather trousers, albiet the race was neither at the back or a competition since the sole patron was Fraser McKinnon who masturbated in the front row, a mere 1.5m from his stimulation whom was busy speaking until ferocious laughter from pupils laterally to him ended in him being sent back to his bloody spazzy class. I recently heard he got sacked from KFC for setting fire to his locker,unsurpsingly.

ray ackroyd used to wank himself off in biology.

There were two boys in my 3rd year English class who did this. I had to sit in front of them, so was not hugely amused. Though luckily never splattered. Once they'd 'finished' they would then wipe their hands on unsuspecting victims. They weren't hard, just very strange- for example every thing they did in Drama was an ultraviolent re-enactment of a scene from the Young Ones. But in our school the girls didn't join in- now that's tuff. P.S. I initially misconstrued the bit about 'joining in with rulers'...

this entry is rubbish and jimbo is a cunt.

this doesn't even make any rational sense. Matt... can you make headnortail?

Yes, I believe I can. Jimbo is saying that two guys in a school dormitory claimed have had a wanking race which was over in seconds, because one or both of them spaffed, and also claimed to have gone on to wank to conclusion 4-5 times more mere minutes after the first spaff, in direct contradiction of a) the First Law Of Schoolboy Wanking, which states that it takes *at least* five minutes for the nuts to refill, and b) the Second Law of Schoolboy Wanking, which states that the time taken to reach conclusion is inversely correlated with the square of the length of time since last wank and positively correlated to the square of the number of wanks in the last hour, i.e. increasingly longer intervals between spaffs are mandatory as the number of attempted wanks per hour increases. Otherwise the wankee is left flailing away uselessly at an aching semi-on. Jimbo then goes on to call the wanking race record claimants 'tossers', thereby deftly pointing out that they were a) liars and b) wankers.


Two guys in a dorm. Claimed to finish within seconds and then go on to complete the exercise four or five times more in the space of a few minutes. Tossers.

A quick variation of the wanking race that happened with the tough lads who could get away with it. they would all gather in a well hidden bush and after measuring and racing it was how far u could get it. I never witnessed this but after girls began joining the lads they became famouse in our school,,,,fools!

I am sure we must have done this as callow youths, but the old memory isn't what it used to be, and I now can't remember how one won a wanking race. Was it the first to ejaculate, thus implicitly suggesting that the sight of one's schoolchums cockwanking in with vigour in front of you brought you to the inevitable climax? Or was the winner the chap who came last, thus proving that he was the least gay, as the circumstances had dampened his ardour to such an extent that it took longer than 30 seconds to bring himself to issue? These are questions that need answering.

Looking back on it, I could ejaculate before most of my schoolchums, so maybe they just watched me do it, wide-eyed and open-mouthed in awe, and my quaint ideas of a 'race' stem merely from my shame at having masturbated gratis for their pleasure.