| Report for Rob Scott | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 4 |
| Rejected stories | 4 |
| Summary | Exemplary Child |
The act of fighting whilst in the 'arms retracted inside jackets' official flid position. Often accompanied by Joey Deacon-esque 'Mmmnuurrr' (or 'belm') noises.
Game for two or four players. Requires 1 (one) Armstrong. Split into two teams and pull on alternate sides of the Armstrong, until the Armstrong is broken.
Two nerdy kids who were 'bum chums' of the highest order. The sort of kids who *always* had their calculators with them and who kept their notebooks immaculate rather than covering them with humourous grafitti. Anyway, legend has it that one day they had a bit of a lover's tiff and Rumbelow kicked Bebbington in the groin and SPLIT his penis in two.
When I was 11 (1977), punks were the scariest thing going. Being at the local grammar school we were, of course, first targets for the local punk hard nuts. At 3:30 almost every day the rumour would go round that the punks were coming up the school to beat the shit outta the first years. The fact that they never seemed to actually turn up didn't stop the very nervous glances outside at 3:35. In an attempt to offset our fear (and the fact that we were mean bastards) we told this thick kid in our class that 'Joe King' was the hardest punk of the lot and that he was after HIM. He was shitting his pants. This went on for weeks and the kid still didn't get it.
All knob drawings, be they in chalk on someones back or on the blackboard or scribbled in text books must follow these rules:
(1) The knob must show helmet - a semi circle with one line drawn back from the curved edge.
(2) Jiz *must* be gushing forth from said helmet.
(3) There must be THREE and only THREE hairs drawn on the testicles.
(1) The knob must show helmet - a semi circle with one line drawn back from the curved edge.
(2) Jiz *must* be gushing forth from said helmet.
(3) There must be THREE and only THREE hairs drawn on the testicles.
Three boys can effectively block a twisting staircase leading to the upstairs classrooms just as lessons resume after lunch. Congestion of M25 proportions ensues amidst chants of "goooo sloooowwww!" from all and sundry.
The amusing results are scratching out letters from the Helix Shatterproof rulers.
In the periodic table, the element molybdenum (atomic weight 42) has the abbreviation of 'MO'. Obviously this being short for HOMO, proves without a doubt that '42' is therefore a completely GAY number and anyone getting 42% on an exam is a 100% vagina-decliner.