Report for Paul Daft
Approved stories4
SummaryPerfectly Exquisite

The essence of foot chuffers is to stamp on the opponent's foot. To do so is to score a chuff. However, to prevent random stampings, rules were developed regarding a signing on and off process. To sign on, both combatants must raise their right leg and declare the commencement of foot chuffing. You remain in a state of war until one player signs off. Formerly, a mutual and simultaneous signing off was required, in the same fashion of the signing on. However, some warriors would refuse to sign off, and carry on stamping on their opponent's feet for days after, sometimes weeks. After much injustice, the amendment was passed to allow unilateral signings off. Special moves include the reverse chuff, the double chuff, and the total chuff combo (a reverse double chuff). Exotic moves, such as the flip chuff, the uberchuff, and the black spin, were postulated but never put into practice.

Pete Beal's Banana Bowl was, in fact, a style of cricketing bowl in which the ball takes a curving approach to the wicket.

Yes, it was. And jingo bingo wasn't a childhood game, you invented it when you were 20 years old and in the final year of a law degree.

Cunt. I didn't even write this. You're putting these words into my mouth.