Report for Tom Cutts
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SummaryMean Boy

These terms describe the status of small pieces of screwed up paper that were flicked on missions into the hair of those on the desks in front.
Upon flicking, the time was noted, and the duration of survival within the hair recorded in the back of an exercise book.
Brand new pieces of paper were referred to as "young'uns", while retrieved survivors were known as "veterans" and reassigned to future missions.
Although longer survival times could be achieved in dense, curly hair, greater kudos was bestowed upon veterans of campaigns fought in more barren terrain, such as sleek newly-washed hair or a skinhead.
As comptition increased, it was found that these hair-based paper commandos could be modified via the addition of paper spikes for greater friction. And then the arms race began.

A cautionary tale to all those embarking on important modular exams. Upon the announcement of: "Last few seconds, finish what you're writing", DO NOT loudly sing the coundown tune: Do-do do-do dudududoo BOOOOOOO.
This contravenes the pre-specified exam conditions rules, as I was reminded whilst my testpaper was torn to pieces in front of my very eyes.