| Report for Josh Gardner | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 2 |
| Pending stories | 1 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 11 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
give this to me, immediately
Your wish is my command, cockfingers
Park Lane, was the recepticle of our towns Rems and Mongoloids, they also had one of them "Variety Club Sunshine Coaches" to take them everywhere, lucky shites.
Anyeay, these two rather obscure things manifested themselves into a coherent song that would be gleefully sang at the top of our voices as the sunshine bus trundled past, Bizzarely sung to the tune of the vengaboys smashtastic hit "Vengabus" it went something like
The Park Lane bus is coming
And everybodys dribbling,
Saliva on the window,
And puddles on the floor...
The worrying thing is, I think we were about 15 when this was made up.
Not to be confused with the infinately harsher "Ding dong, Griffin's dead" ditty....
Mr Prothroe (who bore a startling resemblence to Nintendo's Mario) would conduct a physics class offering a combination of both science AND eye-opening anatomy. He would explain the theory of drag/wind resistance via a blackboard diagram consisting of a rather well endowed woman at the top of a diving board, succumbing, by the forces of drag etc, to the loss of her swimming costume as she fell faster towards the water. Each stage of cozzie loss was drawn with the precision of an anatomy textbook, Mr Protheroe's tongue peeping out through concentration as he did it.
Looking back, this could have been a stroke of genius from a master educator, knowing that the only thing that interests 13 year old boys, is naked ladies.
Saying that, he also used to tell us about how his dates would go on a friday night in rather more detail than we'd have liked. Obviously a 60 year old man who bears a striking resemblence to a certain italian plumber can get a lot of action over Merthyr way... *shudders*
Looking back, this could have been a stroke of genius from a master educator, knowing that the only thing that interests 13 year old boys, is naked ladies.
Saying that, he also used to tell us about how his dates would go on a friday night in rather more detail than we'd have liked. Obviously a 60 year old man who bears a striking resemblence to a certain italian plumber can get a lot of action over Merthyr way... *shudders*
Quite what posessed Andrew Meadon to get up in front of 700 boys and act out scenes from Independence Day and Ace Ventura for our "talent" show, I do not know. What I do know was that they all seemed to involve the NHS-specced, dirty-coated spacker flailing around the stage like a Welsh whirling dervish, shouting barely comprehensible Will Smith-icisms...
Saying that, his veloceraptor impression was truly top drawer. Blue ribbon stuff....
Saying that, his veloceraptor impression was truly top drawer. Blue ribbon stuff....