Matthew Jones was also lop-sided, a secret revealed to us by his little brother, Gareth.
Apparently they had been "wrestling" on Gareth's bed, Matt had gone for the piledriver, and in some unholy contortion, his balls twisted in their sack; one suffocated the oxygen to the other, which lead to its eventual amputation.
Matt's brother told this to anyone who would listen, naturally delighted in the knowledge his bullying elder brother would be mocked by all his peers. Of course he was correct, but he had failed to anticipate the beats that would be dealt to him by effectively admitting that he had been bummed by his own brother.
In fact, Gareth had insisted upon so much bumming that Matt's balls exploded. And because he couldn't satisfy Gareth's desire to be bummed anymore with his shredded testes, their dad had to take over bumming Gareth. Oh, he was a GREEDY little bummer.
Matt actually got off considerably lightly given that:
a) He'd had a ball off, and;
b) He'd bummed his own brother. Not now though. Not ever again.
Oxygen? to the testes? Are you sure you're not getting confused with lungs? - Mansh