| Report for Mr Onions | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 2 |
| Rejected stories | 3 |
| Summary | Shows promise |
Duncan Fitzgerald - poor lad. All the boys from my class at first school spent an entire lunch break following him, as one, stroking our chins in a "chinny reckon" style and chanting "cheesy-boff" until he broke down in tears.
I don't recall any planning before the event. I had never heard the "word" before the event. I never heard the word after the event yet that joyous hour is still etched on my brain.
Cheesy-boff. Bunch of bastards.
I don't recall any planning before the event. I had never heard the "word" before the event. I never heard the word after the event yet that joyous hour is still etched on my brain.
Cheesy-boff. Bunch of bastards.
I used to go to a first school which was unfortunately (and for no reasonable explanation) call Knop Law First School. It doesn't take the smartest graffiti artist to add a little loop to the bottom of the "p" to make a rude word.
I went to that school for 5 years. We went through in
excess of 20 signs.
I still don't know what Knop Law means,
I went to that school for 5 years. We went through in
excess of 20 signs.
I still don't know what Knop Law means,
My primary school was called Knop Law First School - honestly (it exists alright: http://www.newcastle-schools.org.uk/knoplaw/).
They used to have the signs on the gates for years and would have to replace them monthly when they changed overnight to "Knob Law Fist cool". they eventually moved the signs and put them 40 feet up on the front of the school.
Ever noticed how Dads don't trust 12 year olds with ladders? Weird that.
They used to have the signs on the gates for years and would have to replace them monthly when they changed overnight to "Knob Law Fist cool". they eventually moved the signs and put them 40 feet up on the front of the school.
Ever noticed how Dads don't trust 12 year olds with ladders? Weird that.
I wasn't a hard kid and I played a musical instrument, so I didn't qualify for the top floor of the bus. However from my vantage point on the bottom deck of the bus I was afforded a cracking view of one of the top floor windows, having been kicked out at some speed, narrowly missing the teacher on bus duty.
I learned two amazing facts that day:
I learned two amazing facts that day:
- You can drop a bus window from the full height of a double decker bus onto concrete and still have it not break.
- You can get away with such a wanton act of destruction under the weak guise of "trying to kill a wasp".
Simon Paul once turned up to a games lesson with this little beauty:
"Dear Mr. Grant, Please excuse Simon from games today as he has had cold and is feeling a little floppy.
Mrs. Paul"
I'd like to say we ripped him apart for it, but there was no need - he was already the long-haired son of a local vicar with his reputation already lying in tatters around his half-mast trousers.
So much for a merciful God.
"Dear Mr. Grant, Please excuse Simon from games today as he has had cold and is feeling a little floppy.
Mrs. Paul"
I'd like to say we ripped him apart for it, but there was no need - he was already the long-haired son of a local vicar with his reputation already lying in tatters around his half-mast trousers.
So much for a merciful God.