| Report for Mark D | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories | 4 |
| Deleted stories | 3 |
| Summary | Mean Boy |
Whilst drunk, my friend took it upon himself to piss into the locker of an enemy. Good work, it was agreed.
When the headmaster held a little inquest about it, the suggestion that it might have been done by a girl was met with derision by the head.
"You know as well as I do that there's not a girl in this school whose arse would fit in that locker," he replied.
When the headmaster held a little inquest about it, the suggestion that it might have been done by a girl was met with derision by the head.
"You know as well as I do that there's not a girl in this school whose arse would fit in that locker," he replied.
I went to a pretty nasty state school until I was 16, and a former work collegue it turns out went to a neighbouring private school. It would not be fair to say there was a rivalry between the schools, more of a contempt.
At his school only 3 people took A level French, so the exam board could not be bothered to send an examiner for the oral exam, and made them come to my school.
As they walked through the playground of my school they were greeted warmly with calls of "Who the f*ck do you think you are, you posh snobs", and spat at as they walked. And that was from the girls.
They were escorted to a portable classroom to prepare, and were amused to find that it had wire mesh covering the windows. They were less amused when my former schoolmates pelted the classroom with bricks as they attempted their last minute revision.
Serves them right, the posh snobs.
At his school only 3 people took A level French, so the exam board could not be bothered to send an examiner for the oral exam, and made them come to my school.
As they walked through the playground of my school they were greeted warmly with calls of "Who the f*ck do you think you are, you posh snobs", and spat at as they walked. And that was from the girls.
They were escorted to a portable classroom to prepare, and were amused to find that it had wire mesh covering the windows. They were less amused when my former schoolmates pelted the classroom with bricks as they attempted their last minute revision.
Serves them right, the posh snobs.
Obviously when arriving at a new school you want to fit in, not cause offence, don't give away any amunition.
So when arriving in class on your first day, it is bad to say the following:
"Hi, my name is Blake. I'm a vexillologist. For those of you who don't know, that means I study flags. I also like playing Dungeons and Dragons and making replica chainmail, which I also sell."
He was also fat and wore glasses. Even the teacher laughed.
So when arriving in class on your first day, it is bad to say the following:
"Hi, my name is Blake. I'm a vexillologist. For those of you who don't know, that means I study flags. I also like playing Dungeons and Dragons and making replica chainmail, which I also sell."
He was also fat and wore glasses. Even the teacher laughed.
Exams between September and January are recheduled each year depending on the dates of hunting season
Timpani Beater: During a fit of aimless classroom fidgeting I slid a timpani beater down into a cardboard tube so that its round head stopped it going all the way through. Mid-conversation with a slightly dim girl, I absent-mindedly flicked it towards her, and the drumstick shot out of the tube and hit her perfectly in the eye.
Fortunately I escaped punishment, as she screamed that I had hit her with a "trombone stick", and everyone was then too busy laughing for there to be any chance of repercussions.
Fortunately I escaped punishment, as she screamed that I had hit her with a "trombone stick", and everyone was then too busy laughing for there to be any chance of repercussions.
You know me well enough by now Conor to know that pun was entirely intentional.
"Being at that age where penile exploration (and subsequent comparison) was particularly rife ..."
No Scott, and everyone else who went to public school, comparing penises is NOT normal at any age.
Just imagine the silent disdain from everyone reading your story, similar to the silence when a university friend was reminiscing about being at school:
"You know how when you were seven and you used to touch tongues with the other boys ..."
Silence.
"And the funny thing was, when we were sixteen, watching the kids in the prep school doing the same thing."
Disgust and call to the News of the World.
No Scott, and everyone else who went to public school, comparing penises is NOT normal at any age.
Just imagine the silent disdain from everyone reading your story, similar to the silence when a university friend was reminiscing about being at school:
"You know how when you were seven and you used to touch tongues with the other boys ..."
Silence.
"And the funny thing was, when we were sixteen, watching the kids in the prep school doing the same thing."
Disgust and call to the News of the World.
Your Dad's a genius! Who could have thought that stamping on a slug might kill it?