| Report for Jason Beech | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories | 2 |
| Deleted stories (hidden) | 1 |
| Summary | Could Try Harder |
My erstwhile careers advisor doubled as my woodwork teacher. For years I was told I would amount to nothing. Whilst I never despatched a copy of my P90 to him, imagine my satisfaction when he severed his finger during a 5th year woodwork lesson. Oh, and I earn what can only be described as a shitload of cash as a consultant on international contracts. I believe myself justified in saying "Up yours, Mr. Fox, you smelly short-fingered twat".
They were probably German tourists, you cloth eared tool. Still, they probably deserved a good stoning in any case. Good work fellah!
At my catholic comprehensive shithole in the West Midlands we had a newly qualified, and rather keen, thirty-something R.E. teacher inflicted upon us. Whilst discussing the relative merits of sex before marriage, and being firmly told that this was a VERY BAD THING, the following dialogue took place between Danilo (a Filipino kid in my class) and the teacher: -
Teacher: Sex before marriage is bad...blah, blah, blah...
Danilo: Miss, you're not married are you?
Teacher: No, Danilo.
Danilo: Are you a virgin then?
Cue floods of tears from the teacher and a monumental bollocking for the whole class from the head of year.
She left shortly afterwards to become a missionary. Presumably in the hope of landing a shag from some other sad, sexually deprived, bible-bashing fucking hypocrite.
Teacher: Sex before marriage is bad...blah, blah, blah...
Danilo: Miss, you're not married are you?
Teacher: No, Danilo.
Danilo: Are you a virgin then?
Cue floods of tears from the teacher and a monumental bollocking for the whole class from the head of year.
She left shortly afterwards to become a missionary. Presumably in the hope of landing a shag from some other sad, sexually deprived, bible-bashing fucking hypocrite.