Notes From Your Mum

Simon Paul once turned up to a games lesson with this little beauty:
"Dear Mr. Grant, Please excuse Simon from games today as he has had cold and is feeling a little floppy.
Mrs. Paul"

I'd like to say we ripped him apart for it, but there was no need - he was already the long-haired son of a local vicar with his reputation already lying in tatters around his half-mast trousers.
So much for a merciful God.