ethiopia
The Ethiopian famine of the mid 80's gave rise to some particularly horrible jokes. I can't remember them all but a couple stick in my mind: "Did you hear about the nuclear explosion in Ethiopia? - Two million people died trying to eat the mushroom" was one. Another involved pointing at a barcode and asking "what's that?" Most people guessed incorrectly at a barcode, the answer was of course "An Ethiopian family portrait". People even put an Ethiopian slant on mum cussing, ie: "Your mum's fanny is drier than Ethiopia" or just "Your mum's an Ethiopian".
written by Do*in*c S*tto*, approved by Phil
Still in use at the time of posting:
How do you get a hundred Ethiopians into a telephone box? Put a tin of sardines in it.
How do you get a hundred Ethiopians out of a telephone box? Run past with a tin opener.
How do you get a hundred Ethiopians into a telephone box? Put a tin of sardines in it.
How do you get a hundred Ethiopians out of a telephone box? Run past with a tin opener.
written by bl*e an*e, approved by Susan
Given here not for their amusement factor, but to remind us all how immense human suffering isn't all that serious, really.
Q: What's the fastest thing on earth?
A: An Ethiopian with a dinner ticket.
Q: What's the second fastest thing on earth?
A: Blue Peter trying to film it.
Q: What would you do if you saw an Ethiopian drowning?
A: Throw him a Polo.
Q: What's the definition of a barcode?
A: An Ethiopian family photograph.
Q: What's the fastest thing on earth?
A: An Ethiopian with a dinner ticket.
Q: What's the second fastest thing on earth?
A: Blue Peter trying to film it.
Q: What would you do if you saw an Ethiopian drowning?
A: Throw him a Polo.
Q: What's the definition of a barcode?
A: An Ethiopian family photograph.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log
How do you save an Ethiopian from drowning?
Throw him a Polo.
Ha, and what's more, ha.
Throw him a Polo.
Ha, and what's more, ha.
written by A*y Da*iso*, approved by Log
What's the difference between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball?
Five grams.
Although other differences between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball are more immediately obvious - green fur, for one. Except when the Ethiopian has died of starvation and is covered in algae, if indeed algae grows on dead people.
Five grams.
Although other differences between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball are more immediately obvious - green fur, for one. Except when the Ethiopian has died of starvation and is covered in algae, if indeed algae grows on dead people.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log
What is the height of "sadness"?
Putting an Ethiopian in a round room and telling him his dinner is in the corner.
Putting an Ethiopian in a round room and telling him his dinner is in the corner.
written by * D*, approved by Susan
What do you find up an Ethiopian's arse?
Cobwebs.
Cobwebs.
written by Ri* B*rke, approved by Log
Q: How do you kill 100 flies with one blow?
A: Punch an Ethiopian.
(6/10, Good twist on the Jack the Giant Killer fable of "seven in one blow")
Q: How did the Grand Canyon Form?
A: An Ethiopian went on holiday dropped a pea down a rabbit hole.
(3/10, if just one Ethiopian went on holiday, there'd hardly be a canyon-forming rush to get the pea, would there? I mean, Americans wouldn't get out of bed for anything smaller than a gigantic pea pie.)
A: Punch an Ethiopian.
(6/10, Good twist on the Jack the Giant Killer fable of "seven in one blow")
Q: How did the Grand Canyon Form?
A: An Ethiopian went on holiday dropped a pea down a rabbit hole.
(3/10, if just one Ethiopian went on holiday, there'd hardly be a canyon-forming rush to get the pea, would there? I mean, Americans wouldn't get out of bed for anything smaller than a gigantic pea pie.)
written by an*nym*us u*e*, approved by Log
A popular joke in Yorkshire involved the telephone number of some form of Ethiopian food donatory charity, which was 080 028028, or, if said properly by a Yorkshire child, 'Who ate nowt, nowt to eat, nowt to eat'. Kind of.
Tenuous at best.
Tenuous at best.
written by C*pt*in Cr*c*e*jac*, approved by Conor
Hi my name is M*tt B*an*-*art*n, out of the pop group 'The Slides'. Can I just say that racism is really bad, and that I don't condone any of these jokes.
I expect if Geldof or Bono saw these jokes, they'd be well upset, and so anyone posting them would never get to play Live Aid 3 or anything like that. And that's why I would never submit those sort of 'jokes' to a website such as this. Oh, AND because of the 'racism' thing, obviously.
We've probably got an album, or a single out or something, so please buy that, or come and see us live if we're currently 'on the road' - that's pop music speak for 'doing a tour' - we don't just stand about on a road!
But don't forget about the racism thing, please (or the buying of our stuff).
Thanks.
M*tt B*an*-*art*n
I expect if Geldof or Bono saw these jokes, they'd be well upset, and so anyone posting them would never get to play Live Aid 3 or anything like that. And that's why I would never submit those sort of 'jokes' to a website such as this. Oh, AND because of the 'racism' thing, obviously.
We've probably got an album, or a single out or something, so please buy that, or come and see us live if we're currently 'on the road' - that's pop music speak for 'doing a tour' - we don't just stand about on a road!
But don't forget about the racism thing, please (or the buying of our stuff).
Thanks.
M*tt B*an*-*art*n
written by M*tt B*an*-*art*n, approved by Mansh
Q - What do you find up an Ethiopian's bum?
A - Spoon marks.
A - Spoon marks.
written by an*nym*us u*e*, approved by Jamie
Q: What do Ethiopians do at night?
A: Starve.
A: Starve.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Jamie
Why do Ethiopians wear bones through their noses?
So nobody steals their dinner!
So nobody steals their dinner!
written by Ca*l*s Ro*rig*ez, approved by Mansh
"It's the joke material that nevorr ends." - Bob Geldof
Q: What do you call 2 Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
A: Twix.
Q: What do you call 2 Ethiopians on a raft?
A: Drifter.
Q: What do you call 2 Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
A: Twix.
Q: What do you call 2 Ethiopians on a raft?
A: Drifter.
written by An*n*mou* U*e*, approved by Ponky
What's the best thing about getting a blowjob from an Ethiopian?
She'll definitely swallow.
She'll definitely swallow.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Mansh