Report for Mark Harrison
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SummaryExemplary Child

It's the acronym that keeps on giving:
Arse Infected - Don't Screw.

To play cat in a bag, you will need a cat, and two bags.
Double up the bags, and make holes in them for the cat's legs and head. When you have forced the doubtlessly reluctant cat into the bag, and wrestled it's little paws into the holes, quickly grab the handles of the bag and swing the cat around.
The cat will be held in place using the same magic that keeps water in swung buckets.
Some notes on cat in a bag;
  1. As with all such games, scream the name of the game while you do it. Just as a bundy isn't a bundy without screaming bundy, cat in a bag requires a manic child to be screaming CAT IN A BAAAAG! as he runs through the playground.
  2. Doubling up the bags will go some way to preventing a ripped bag, which will cause the cat to fly into your friend's mouth, and he'll go boss-eyed and make a comical "gulp" sound with a tail hanging out of his mouth.
  3. You MUST swing the cat. Otherwise it will escape, and probably land on your face, and do a sick on you. To ensure absolute safety from re-purr-cussions, you might like to end the game by simply letting go of the bag.