| Report for Johnzini | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 4 |
| Summary | Perfectly Exquisite |
#1 in the lies of Troy Hawkins series.
Troy's hacking powers were legendary. He hacked into the UN mainframe computer, and sent 800 tanks to Egypt. However, his actions were traced, and he was fined fifty million pounds, which would have financially crippled most schoolchildren. Troy, however, was lucky in that respect, as his father invented Windows with Bill Gates. Bill Gates was more than happy to pay the bill, what with his good friend having invented Windows with him, and that.
Troy's hacking powers were legendary. He hacked into the UN mainframe computer, and sent 800 tanks to Egypt. However, his actions were traced, and he was fined fifty million pounds, which would have financially crippled most schoolchildren. Troy, however, was lucky in that respect, as his father invented Windows with Bill Gates. Bill Gates was more than happy to pay the bill, what with his good friend having invented Windows with him, and that.
#2 in the lies of Troy Hawkins series.
In Year 11, when Troy was 15, he became engaged to "Jackie D", who lived in another town, and was indistinguishable from Pamela Anderson. The next day he came in with a ring on his wedding finger, a ring which was made from platinum. Although too small for his finger, the ring was worth many hundreds of pounds. With admirable dignity, Troy kept his mouth shut for weeks on the matter, until one day he arrived at school without his platinum ring. Sadly, Jackie D's father had found out about the engagement, and beated Troy's fiancee to death.
In Year 11, when Troy was 15, he became engaged to "Jackie D", who lived in another town, and was indistinguishable from Pamela Anderson. The next day he came in with a ring on his wedding finger, a ring which was made from platinum. Although too small for his finger, the ring was worth many hundreds of pounds. With admirable dignity, Troy kept his mouth shut for weeks on the matter, until one day he arrived at school without his platinum ring. Sadly, Jackie D's father had found out about the engagement, and beated Troy's fiancee to death.
#3 in the lies of Troy Hawkins series.
Troy once also pulled aside a friend of mine, and told him he could get "Nuclear Hand Grenades" for a very reasonable price. Troy, we feel, had not put his usual amount of effort into making this lie believable.
Troy once also pulled aside a friend of mine, and told him he could get "Nuclear Hand Grenades" for a very reasonable price. Troy, we feel, had not put his usual amount of effort into making this lie believable.
#4 in the lies of Troy Hawkins series.
Fuelled by morbid curiosity, I once asked Troy Hawkins if he could get me an Uzi automatic machine gun. He told me he could. When I pressed for more information, it turned out that they were "fifty quid, and they are from Blackbush." Blackbush Market being a large local Sunday affair, I presume that he imagined that this was some sort of black market bush, and made a rather wrong connection in his wrong, wrong, brain.
Fuelled by morbid curiosity, I once asked Troy Hawkins if he could get me an Uzi automatic machine gun. He told me he could. When I pressed for more information, it turned out that they were "fifty quid, and they are from Blackbush." Blackbush Market being a large local Sunday affair, I presume that he imagined that this was some sort of black market bush, and made a rather wrong connection in his wrong, wrong, brain.